Improperly Un-Assing The Aircraft

When the world was a simpler and less gentle place I was a jumper. I didn’t go to school at Benning however, I attend a course steeped in pain and presented by the 7th SFG at Ft. Sherman in what used to be the Canal Zone. 400 folk showed up for the PT test on day one of the course. 200 passed it. All would have passed it, but the instructors/graders had a nasty habit of walking away while you were pushin up or sittin up and (given that the ‘rules’ stated he could only count a repetition that he saw were correctly performed) that doomed everyone that couldn’t do at least 100 of each. As I recall (which is a difficult task so don’t hold me to it) the minimum passing score for each was 40.

What the cadre knew and we did not was that they were limited to using one C130 and there would be a shitload of strap-hangers on the final jump. Their mission was twofold: cull 164 legs that somehow managed to squeak past the PT test and to embed enough rote/muscle memory into the class to keep them from splattering on the drop zone or affixing themselves to side of the aircraft.

Three weeks later we were down to 36 student jumpers and 20+ strap-hangers. We had the commanding general, his aide and COS. 8 SF instructors, an SF CO, CSM, 1SG, and believe it or not: the 7th SFG Chaplin.

Once my tour in Panama ended I moved on to the 82nd at Bragg. We jumped C130’s and 141’s. Always the door, never the ramp. Watching the next generation ‘hopping and popping’ out of C17’s is amazing. That door is huge. Only two fucking things to remember once the light turns green: control that static line all the way to the Jump Master and vigorously clear the aircraft.

How then can these folk not even fall out of the aircraft? Yeah I get it you have shit in your ruck. Well boo hoo, try carrying a medic’s ruck, that’s one heavy bag. There was a time when everyone I knew used short lengths of coat hanger to reinforce the rucks quick release so it wouldn’t fail because of the weight. I’ve seen jumpers jump PRC 77’s, secure sets, spare batteries for both, the cabling, head, and head elements for a 292, but I’ve never seen a jumper fail to clear the doorway. Never. NEVER.

Seems like someone needs a little remedial PT. Lets start off by beating your boots!

OBTW, here is what will keep you watching your static line: the SF Captain that honcho’d my jump school was once a ‘towed jumper’. Just before our first jump he removed his blouse and showed the class what a mangled mess a static line can visit upon the flesh. That’s all it took for me!.